Black Thought

Hello SteveNorth, looks like I'll be the 1st one critiquing your story today. This piece reads more like a prose poem, which is good for emotional pieces like this. You ...

Hi mimimac. So here's my take on the story. The plot itself is compelling but as I was reading I did not feel engaged in the story at all because ...

Some parts seem a little cliche, I recommend rewording them. To smash in every bone in your body and tear you limb from limb And the phrase "how I" in ...

I liked this story. You have a talent for detail. One thing you could do to make this better would be to add more detail about aunt Cathy with a ...

This was an interesting story. The only problems I had with it were the quotation tags which tend to get a little irritating at times. “Darling, I know you would, ...

Sorry it took so long to get back to you. So here’s my take on this piece. The two major problems I identified after reading your story are the dialogue ...

What's goin on skl02134 This is an interesting piece. To me it reads more like prose poetry, than fiction, which isn't a bad thing at all. I'm just not that ...

What's good Aspiring Author? I'm the Bad Narrator and you'll be my reviewee today. I like the idea of the story, but if I were gonna change just one thing ...

Hello Whisper, I'll be your reviewer today. So I'm trying to hear the voice of the narrator in my head and I'm getting this bland generic robot voice or something. ...

The voice doesn't sound very authentic in my opinion. "better than any Ecstasy pill or dose of meth I had ever taken" doesn't sound like something a drug addict would ...

Hello Moriah. I will be your narrator today. Structure: This story is lacking dramatic structure (Expo => Rising action => climax => falling action => Deno) which gives the impression ...

Hello, skl02134. I'll be your reviewer/criticizer or whatever today. You can call me the Bad Narrator (even though my screename says otherwise) I'm ignoring the plot of the story itself ...

Good evening. I think Karsten nailed most of the issues with the story itself, so I'm gonna toss out some suggestions I think can help you strengthen the prose in ...

He looked at the sea, his eyes lifeless, and thought about his story. His story... it was too painful to tell. But he would tell it. He gulped in the ...